Smooth Pick-Up Lines

your profile said the best line of any dating app this year. i'd like to take credit for actually reading it.

the third photo. that's the one. i'd ask about it but i'd rather hear it in person.

i was going to be cool about this. i decided not to. you're great. i'd love a drink.

i don't have a line. i have a coffee shop on the lower east side. you in?

i'm not going to compliment you yet. i'm waiting until you've said something funny so it counts more.

i'm not going to ask a question yet. tell me one thing you've been excited about this week.

i'm not great at openers. i am great at picking restaurants. assume the latter.

i'm not going to pretend this is anything other than: i think you're great, here's a hand wave.

i'll be honest, i was going to scroll past. i didn't. that's a compliment. you're welcome.

i'll spare us both the small talk. when's a good time this week for a 30-minute coffee.

say one thing nobody else would think to put on a dating profile. you go first.

tell me your favorite thing about a city you don't live in. mine is the sandwich shop on west 4th.

tell me a small opinion you hold strongly. unrelated to dating. or me.

tell me about a long walk you remember. starting now is fine.

if you had to pick one neighborhood as a permanent walking ground, where.

if you could split a starter with one person, who would it be. say me. it'll be weirder if you don't.

what's your version of a perfect saturday morning. mine is no alarm and a slow coffee.

i'd like to take you somewhere. you pick the neighborhood. i'll pick the place.

i'd like to take you somewhere quiet on a tuesday. weeknights are the actual move.

i'd like to take you somewhere loud on a friday and then somewhere quiet right after.

you have one photo at a bookstore. i have a list of three you'd like. shall we.

you have one photo with a coffee. i'd like to know where you got it. and then go.

you have one photo at a wedding. you cleaned up well. i'd like to meet that version.

i was going to read another book tonight. i'd consider being interrupted.

i was going to spend my sunday at the gym. i'd consider an alternative.

i was going to make dinner. i'd consider being talked out of it.

you have one photo with a dog and i'm going to be transparent: that's the whole reason.

i'd like to ask you out the right way: a specific place, a specific time, a real reason.

i'd like to ask you out the boring way: coffee, saturday, 11am. say yes if it's easy.

no opener. just: would you be up for a walk somewhere nice on sunday.

no opener. just: would you split a small dinner at this place i've been meaning to try.

i don't want to swipe. i want to plan a tuesday. you in.

i don't want to text forever. i want to meet for one drink and decide.

i don't want to overthink this. i want to take you somewhere nice on a weeknight.

i was going to write you a long thing. i decided to write you a short thing instead. here.

i was going to overthink this. i settled on: you, me, a drink, this week. yes.

say something true. i'll match it. we'll have skipped the small talk by friday.

i'll go first: my favorite restaurant is the one with a single page menu and a bartender named ed. your turn.

i'll go first: my favorite saturday morning is the one with no alarm and a long coffee. yours.

i'll go first: i collect bookstore receipts. weird, i know. tell me yours.

the playlist on your profile gives me one good guess for a wine bar. let me try.

the bookshelf in your background gives me one good guess for a restaurant. let me try.

the way you write your bio gives me one good guess for a date you'd like. let me try.

you seem like the kind of person who knows their order before sitting down. i'd like to confirm.

you seem like the kind of person with a small ritual i'd like to know about. tell me.

you seem like the kind of person who'd correct me kindly about a restaurant. let me invite you to do that in person.

skipping the routine. here's a real plan: bookstore at 3, snack at 4, decide at 5.

skipping the routine. here's a real plan: walk in the park, wine at the bar, dinner if it goes.

skipping the routine. coffee, monday morning, before your day starts. low stakes.

let's both promise: no 'how was your day' before the first date.